Screwed.edu
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
