first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
