They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
