no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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