no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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