I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
