Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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