He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
