Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
