The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
