Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
