Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
