i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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