So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My vagina is officially offended.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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