After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
