We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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