do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
