You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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