Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
sex in a hospital.. check
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
