Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
