you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
