I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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