Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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