if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
