part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
