I showed him my bush... on skype.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
