Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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