I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize