addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize