I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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