I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
