Don't you send me to vm
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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