no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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