so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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