i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
