I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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