Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
