your thong is hanging out like whoa
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
