Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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