All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
