she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
