are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm passing your future prison.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
