Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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