YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
