R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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