Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
