Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
