i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
