I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
