My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
