Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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