I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
