He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
