end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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