never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
