mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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