She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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